May 17, 2017


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G-I-theartgorgeousAn exclusive dinner party following an opening that you get invited to if you’re a collector, press person, or a close personal acquaintance of the artist or gallerist. Great for networking (and guzzling free wine), but be wary: these shindigs always start about an hour later than the time on the invite.

G-I2theartgorgeousThe undeniable hotties of the art world, art handlers toil behind the closed doors of galleries and museums, carefully installing and de-installing billions of dollars worth of fine art with their bare hands. If that sentence didn’t just make you hot, consider the fact that most of them are built as hell and typically decent artists themselves.

G-I3-theartgorgeousThe art world’s current obsession, thanks to their innate Instagramability. Bonus points if it’s also “immersive”!

G-I4-theartgorgeousThe art world is full of it (no pun intended). Just look at any press release. Pick up a copy of Artforum. Continue reading this list! It could be because we’re notoriously exclusive (what better way to shut people out than by using big words they don’t understand?) or it could be because in reality, no one actually knows what they’re talking about.

G-I5-theartgorgeousJeff Koons, king of all things shiny and banal, has come to represent something far beyond himself and his oeuvre. His name is synonymous with a trend towards grotesque displays of wealth and art objects that are little more than easily digestible playthings for billionaires. People love to hate him, so much so that in the not-so-distant future, liking him seems poised to become ironically cool again.

G-I6-theartgorgeousThe job many front desk girls dream of graduating to, artist liaisons are responsible for maintaining the relationship between a gallery and its stable of artists–a job that, you can probably imagine, isn’t always easy, but does involve travel and lots of going out. Like most other gallery jobs, these people are usually ridiculously well educated and still make poverty wages.


Illustration
PENELOPE STRINTZ
Writer CAIT MUNRO