A-F_theartgorgeousYou probably debated the whole “what is art” thing to death in your Art History 101 seminar, so for now, suffice to say it’s simply the reason we’re all here reading this.
A-F2theartgorgeousThe art fair that made art fairs a thing, Art Basel has spread its shiny, expertly-curated tentacles to Miami, Hong Kong, and of course, the titular Basel, Switzerland. Serious collectors go to the original, while celebrities, fashion people, club kids, international millionaires and those desperate for a free cocktail stick to Miami.

Being in the art world is a bit like being transported back to 15 years, or whenever it was that everybody still smoked. It’s wonderful! Well, not for your lungs, but that ubiquitous, smokey pack of hipsters outside every opening is a great place to meet people who know vital information like where the after party is.

A-F4theartgorgeousOffspring of the rich and famous that have a passing interest in art and an active interest in being photographed at the right parties. Many of them purport to be “art advisors” or “freelance curators” but they’re really just trust fund babes with good connections and great wardrobes.

A-F5theartgorgeousAn overused word used to convey an artist’s newbie status. While the term is often lambasted for connoting caterpillars or some similar kind of weird birth imagery, many PR people are still, for some reason, unable to find a better way to describe an artist under 40.

6-theartgorgeousAn insult flung at a certain kind of collector–most notably one Stefan Simchowitz–who buys up inexpensive works by young artists only to sell them back a couple years later for more money. Only in the art world would people be pissed off at you for turning a profit!