Like you, we get most of our fashion inspo from Instagram and models and models on Instagram. But what if we looked to art to help us get dressed everyday? After all, it is always nice to blend in with your surroundings. In this new series, we’ll show you how to dress like some of the most iconic (mostly fictional) women of the art world.
The best way to be a John Currin girl would be to somehow take on the form of his wife Rachel Feinstein. Legend has it he was painting pale, doll-like redheads who looked eerily like her before friends noticed and introduced them, and the rest is history. Creepy or the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard? You tell me. Becoming Rachel Feinstein sounds like a fine proposition, because then you’d also be a superstar artist, style icon, and megababe in your own right. But in lieu of some kind of Teen Witch spell, here’s what you need to do.
Dye your hair an achingly beautiful shade of red or strawberry blonde. Then consider extensions.
Here’s how you know Currin’s paintings are done by a dude: All of the women have flowing locks in colors that rarely occur in nature with absolutely no damage. Clearly, this is a person who knows not the ravages of years of dye on the human hair follicle. I’ve been beating my hair into one shade of blonde submission or another since 7th grade, and there ain’t no way it’s ever gonna look as luxurious as all that. At least, not without some (okay, a lot of) help from the hair extension fairy.
Obtain a gorgeous vintage fur and obnoxious, Nicole-Richie-circa-2004 shades.
This one’s a little easier. Raid your grandmother’s closet or the nearest vintage store for a luxurious mink or rabbit fur. This will also come in handy if you ever wanna channel Margot Tanenbaum (and why wouldn’t you?) or just look damn fly at the next big art gala. Be sure to pull the collar up around your bare neck to accentuate the very sexy contrast between the fur and your skin. Now, go grab the biggest, most ridiculous pair of designer sunglasses you have. Put them on. Et voila! You are worthy of a red carpet, a rap video, and yes, a John Currin painting.
Keep in minimal.
Currin’s women don’t need bright colors or flashy patterns to stand out. They derive their power from the maintenance of a natural, quiet grace. Like a contemporary Audrey Hepburn. Think earth tones, nudes, and pastels. Simple shifts, cropped trousers, cotton tops. Fear not, you’ve got fiery hair and a major fur to tszuj the whole thing up!
Don’t be afraid to show off your curves.
That being said, one thing almost all of Currin’s women have in common is that they’re, shall we say, generously endowed — and we’re not talking about museums here. Currin used his obsession with breasts to comedic effect in paintings like The Bra Shop, but it’s there to a decidedly lesser extent (thank god) throughout his oeuvre. And, hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Flaunt it even if you don’t got it. Flaunt whatever you’ve got! Get it?
Tie some flowers in your hair.
At the end of the day, Currin’s all about classic, Botticelli-style female beauty with a twist, and what’s more emblematic of that than flowers? They’re a common motif in his painting, showing up either in the background or as accessories for an otherwise understated female figure. While flower crowns are decided played out, nothing’s to stop you from pinning a flower behind your ear or weaving dozens of them through a long braid, like impossibly perfect human Giovanna Battaglia did a few years ago at the Met Gala. Currin would definitely approve.