“The Art World, A Boys Club?”
The world of art can be an all-encompassing preoccupation for both your brain and your social calendar. It’s easy to meet men at the various gallery openings, galas, dinners, screenings, panels, talks, and performative happenings that make up your existence in the creative sphere, and it’s often equally easy to engage with them. Granted, you probably have common interests, friends, and experiences. For obvious reasons, dating in the art world is a major gamble. But should you choose, like Cher’s intrepid BFF Dionne, to pick from the pool most easily accessible to you (and trust us, there’s no shame in doing so), here are the five types you should be ready to encounter. Perhaps you already have and are already getting ready for the ultimate collaboratibr art project…
1. Art World Men: The Bespoke Suit
He’s either a top seller at a major gallery or runs his own space that’s funded through a slightly nefarious familial money tree. Find him in his natural habitat at any big-name art fair—he’ll be sporting an expertly tailored suit and Italian leather shoes that cost more than your monthly rent. He’s surveying the crowd through those impenetrable, intoxicating eyes, probably deciding which collectors to shmooze with based on how expensive their wife’s handbag looks.
Born and raised in one of the major art cities (New York, London, etc.), he likely graduated from a top tier prep school, headed to an Ivy, and chose the art industry because of his legacy status, even while his friends opted for banking, lawyering, or business school.
Dating a guy like this is great—in theory. He knows everyone (seriously, a major opening is practically a family school reunion for this dude), will only take you to nice restaurants, and always has something witty to say at cocktail parties (even if you’ve already heard him say it a hundred times). But watch out: success at any cost is the name of his game, and he may be a little too used to getting what he wants. The prospects for long-term fidelity are low in this one.
2. Art World Men: The Pseudo-Intellectual
Picture this: a handsome-but-not-overly-so guy of indeterminable age rocking a snappy sport coat with a slightly rumpled shirt underneath. He’s leaning against a mahogany bookcase at some private soiree where everyone looks like they subscribe to the New Yorker. He has a glass of whiskey in one hand, and he’s gesticulating fiercely with the other.
Should you decide to engage, be ready to look on with a glassy-eyed mock enthusiasm as he bloviates about the latest Biennale in a speech peppered with unnecessary references to International Art English. He’s likely employed as a writer, critic, curator, or some nebulous combination of the three that seems to involve more drinking and trying to nail gallery interns than anything else. He secretly fancies himself something of a modern day Ernest Hemingway, and this, along with the fact that he probably received little attention from the fairer sex until around his sophomore year of college, is likely to blame for his womanizing ways.
The thing about the Pseudo-Intellectual is that he may seem exciting to converse with at first, until you realize that what you’re doing isn’t conversing, but simply listening to him speak. Notice how every time you attempt to voice your opinion about the topic at hand, he cuts you off abruptly, meandering in some alternative conversational direction that eventually serves to cement his original point. He may or may not be doing this on purpose. He does, after all, consider himself a feminist.
3. Art World Men: The Scruffy Hipster
A beard, man bun, flannel shirt, and devil-may-care attitude are the calling cards of this downtown denizen, but you’d be surprised how much effort actually goes into looking like you don’t give a shit. That beard that so perfectly highlights his cheekbones didn’t trim itself, and that beanie covering his (seemingly) unwashed hair actually set him back $85 at Opening Ceremony.
If he resides in New York, he has probably never been above 14th Street, if he even bothers to leave Brooklyn at all. He’s an artist, writer, filmmaker, or dabbles in some other kind of creative pursuit. If he comes from money, he doesn’t work and lives in a suspiciously nice apartment, but will go to great lengths to avoid admitting that he personifies the “Trustafarian” stereotype. If he doesn’t, he probably works two service jobs and lives illegally in his art studio, where you’ll have to walk down the hall to access the bathroom.
He’s spontaneous and game for whatever—be it posing naked for your drawing class or dropping mushrooms and driving to Montauk for the day. He’s not super into “putting labels on things” and often disappears for days on end, only to show up at your doorstep, bewildered by your apparent vexation. He’s been known to ask if it’s Wednesday when, in fact, it is a Sunday. Basically, he’s fun for a fling, but don’t get too attached. After all, do you really want someone pocketing your hair ties all the time?
4. Art World Men: Mr. Moneybags
He’s older—definitely not a “guy” or a “dude” so much as an honest-to-gooness man. He knows how to carry himself, and this (plus his high-end designer wardrobe, likely art and fashion collaborative art projects) helps offset some of the flaws multiple decades on this earth may have bestowed upon him.
This is the guy that Mr. Bespoke Suit is looking to charm from the moment he walks into a gallery. Moneybags made said money outside the world of art —probably business or finance—and began buying art perhaps out of boredom, or maybe at the behest of his first wife. There’s a good chance he has zero clue what he’s doing, and relies on persuasive gallerists and cute art advisors to spend his money for him. Talk to him for ten minutes, express two semi-astute opinions, and mention three artists he’s never heard of, and this guy will think you’re the next Rosalind Krauss. Just kidding, he doesn’t know who that is.
Money and time have rid him of some of the insecurities that plague his younger counterparts, but they’ve done nothing to mellow his fervent desire for beautiful women—preferably those under 30. Sure, it’s creepy when waitresses assume he’s your dad and when you think about, but dating an older man has its perks. Just be sure to get out with a painting or a nice handbag before he moves on to the next enchanting gallerina. He’s sure to have some of the most famous artists and their work hanging around.
5. Art World Men: The Art Bro
Somewhere around the mid-2000s, an unprecedented figure emerged in the art world: the Art Bro. Picture your average college frat boy—backwards baseball cap, t shirt, red solo cup—and add a predilection for painting derivative, zombie formalist canvases, and you’ve got yourself an Art Bro. The perfect match for all you gallery girls? Maybe. Maybe not.
Predominantly white, privileged, young, and stereotypically good-looking, Art Bros hang out, share studio space, and curate shows alongside other Art Bros, generally operating under the pretense that no one else in the art world matters. They are represented by some of the best galleries in the world, and their works are purchased by older, wealthier bros like Leonardo DiCaprio.
While previous generations of male artist cliques (think those helmed by the likes of Jasper Johns or Dash Snow) fought to redefine the status quo, these guys aren’t into that. They are the status quo. And that’s just fine with them. What makes a great artist? Who cares as long as you look cool.
Their extracurricular activities include drinking beer, smoking weed, surfing, and hanging out at hip bars with the kind of pretty, cool girls who sport tattoo necklaces and leather jackets and pursue art careers of their own that the Art Bros inevitably view as lesser. Art Bros are accessible, if a tad pretentious. The biggest difference between him and the Scruffy Hipster is that the Art Bro has achieved a certain level of success, having been told he’s the “next big thing” by a slew of dealers and critics that are trying to make him a “thing” in art entertainment. It has definitely gone to his head, and he seems unconcerned with the harsh reality that “It boy” status, unfortunately, pretty much expires around age 30.
Texts: by Cait Munro
Image via: theartgent, Wmj.ru, College times, pinterest
